Thursday, 26 July 2018

Mr Imp's Diary



This article practises the Imp stroke. The two sounds must occur together, with no vowel between. These detailed adventures from the diary of the observant Mr Imp will ensure you know how to write most of the words that contain this stroke. Remember that past tenses like "pumped" omit the P sound and words like "simple" and "impress" do not use the Imp stroke. These will be covered in another article.



Pages from the diary of Mr Imp. My car went over a hump in the road. It seems the workmen did not tamp down the surface properlyand it was full of bumps. I had omitted to pump up the tyres correctly. Being a plump person and not being a weightlifting champion, the effort left me rather limp. Then I found one of the lamps was broken. I decided to tramp to the nearest garage for help, where they would have jump leads with clamps, and a ramp to make repairs to the sump. The mechanic was ambitious to do well, and insisted on shampooing the interior. He worked so fast he seemed almost ambidextrous. After this jamboree of primping and embellishing, I was entirely satisfied with the revamp. Although he was an impish and rumbustious fellow, I was not bamboozled over the cost, although I was somewhat ambivalent over the time taken, despite the impeccable service I received. What a contrast it was with my local establishment with its pompous and bombastic owners and the grumpy and wimpy imbeciles who work for them and impede their chance of success in their shambolic business.

* "properly" Always insert the first vowel, and the diphone in "appropriately", as they are similar in outline and meaning


I was soon romping away down the road again. As I left town I passed a rubbish dump, full of rusting dumpsters, and then a swampy field dotted with old tree stumps. In the next field I saw a scarecrow shabbily dressed as a tramp or bumpkin. I next came upon the University campus which was imbued with an air of imposing and imperious ambition. After that I went past a camp site. It did appear to be a rather lumpy and damp field, but nevertheless seemed to embody the empowering principle of decamping from city life and giving in to the impetuous impulse to sleep in a temporary dwelling under the stars. Although ours is a temperate climate, there is always the possibility* of tempest and rampaging storms. Camping here is not for those who suffer from lumbago, thrombosis, mumps or embolism who might end up going home in an ambulance.

* "possibility" Optional contraction




I stopped off at the garden centre nursery where I bought some campanula plants, a large basket made of hemp rope and some hempseed for the bird table. By now my stomach was running on empty, so I headed to the restaurant and ordered pumpkin soup with dumplings, scampi and shrimp. I chose gumbo instead of rump steak and I did not skimp on a portion of flambé plum pudding. However I knew this would impinge upon my health and I would get no sympathy for impairing and imperilling my weight loss regime, and there was nothing for it but to amputate the chocolate filling from it. Otherwise I would be left in limbo after the embarrassing impact that the extra calories would have on me. It was important to restore some temperance to the meal and improve its healthful qualities.

* "empty" Omits the P, therefore M stroke not Imp


The waitress was a rather frumpy woman who lambasted me over all this dietary mumbo-jumbo and imputed my concerns to lack of exercise. Not wanting to create a rumpus, I refused to be imposed upon by her imperious and impudent manner, embittered tone and complete absence of empathy. After chomping through the meal and imbibing* a jumbo sized glass of water, I rested in the shade of a clump of pampas grass and bamboo. I suddenly had cramp in my feet due to the tight crimp in my socks and yesterday’s umpteen hours of jumping on the trampoline, when I narrowly missed impaling myself on the garden fence. It was imperative that I should embark as soon as possible* on the next stage of my journey, to reimpose some order on my itinerary, and the lateness of the hour impelled me to hurry back to my car.

* "imbibing" The past tense "imbibed" adds a D stroke

* Omission phrase "as soon as possible"


I had an appointment at the Embassy to meet the Ambassadors of Cambodia, Gambia, Mozambique, Zambia and Zimbabwe. The agenda included discussing trade between their empires, the impunity with which criminals and impostors were ambushing the security forces, the rise in embezzlement in businesses, the imposition of import taxes, and the impeachment case against a certain government officer. They also discussed the general slump in imports to their countries, as well as their plans for attending the Olympic Games where they would provide umpires for the impartial oversight of the events. I am glad they found time to review the protection of impalas and chimps in the less impenetrable areas of their national parks. State visits were discussed that would take in the cities of Bombay in India, Colombo in Sri Lanka, and Timbuktu, Kampala and Mombasa in Africa. Plans were made for a trade and business symposium to be held in Tampa in the United States.



After this, I had a business meeting at the Olympia Hotel with Mr Dempsey from Abercrombie and Mrs Dombey from Hampshire. Our lawyers Sampson, Simpson and Simpkin had sent their representative, and our accountants Thompson and Kempsey, who are based in Limpsfield, arrived later on. It was important that the summary of the meeting should not be ambiguous or impure, so Miss Pompey from Lambeth took notes for us. She did well despite the impassioned* and occasionally tempestuous exchanges and the fast tempo of the discussions, as the delegates were impatient* to go home. The Olympia Hotel is an imposing building, with embossed ceilings embellished with flower motifs embedded in rhombus shapes, and  murals in tempera against a gamboge yellow background. On the walls is a selection of imported artwork donated by a former Eastern emperor, stamping the building with an atmosphere of imperial pomp and grandeur.

* "impassioned" and "impatient" Note the distinguishing outlines for these


After the meeting I made my way to the travel agent* to book my cruises on the Humboldt River in the United States of America, the Zambezi River in Africa and viewing humpback whales in the north. I had been scrimping and saving for these trips, and had imperceptibly rescued my financial situation from its former impecunious state. At last I finally found the impetus to go ahead with these plans which will no doubt provide further empirical information, and which will result in many more interesting embellishments to my diary entries. (1101 words)

* "agent" Special outline to distinguish from "gentleman/men" (short forms) and "agency" (which has full stroke N)